Life... No Tears.

The illusionist...

Explanation

Mike,I guess I have gone through a change in my life. I realized I needed to adjust some things. I tend to morph to what I think other people want me to be. In doing so I think I create different versions of myself. I have put a lot of thought to your message. I took a step back to think about our friendship. I act differently around you for your approval. I find myself trying to be aggressive, etc. Several situations have made me uncomfortable in the past. I think we just do things differently and you are always over the top for me. One on one has been good times. Out in bars and restaurants I never know if you are gonna be mellow and get along with people or push the limits. I think I tend to get along and you push the limits on many things and people. I have commented before how I thought you get fighting mad at me. The loco comment was one situation I just don't understand. You were really mad and went into aggressive mode. I really thought you were mad enough to fight I was just joking around and trying to say you were fun and wild. We had this discussion so no need to rehash. Your feelings and family history are things you rarely comment on. I know bits and pieces about your family. You have talked about your dad a little and your mom almost never. I guess there is a lot I do not know for being friends for as long as we have been. I don't expect to agree and get along all of the time with anyone. It justs seems that we interpret and react to things in such different ways that don't compliment each other. I have seen you so mad at me at times and I am confused as to what made you so mad. It seems that I am supposed to know what you are thinking and when I do not you react strongly. Not all of the time, but enough to make me wonder if you even really like me at all or am I a loyal friend to fall back on because you like some things about me and really dislike others. I think when I am my true self I make you mad or disappointed. You and me in the desert has been good times. The way you push people and the limits when other people around is just too much for me. I have also wondered about the climbing trips in the past I was not invited to go on. I thought I made it clear that if something was going on, then let me know and I would try and go. I guess I know why I was not invited. I am not mad about anything. I do not have any bad feelings. Thinking about some things made me realize that we are not that good of friends by actions made in the past. I wanted to step back and process things. It seems weeks turned to months. I did not want to damage our friendship, but I am sure the damage is done. I don't know where things will go from here. I am happy for you in your new relationship and life. I should have told you these things a long time ago. I wanted to make sure I knew my true feelings as I do not take our friendship lightly. Scott